I know I love being pregnant. There's nothing like feeling little kicks, nudges and turns inside my round belly. I love the obvious statement to the world of God's miracle of life, creation, love and family. I don't know if this is my last pregnancy. Part of me is discouraged by the IVIG infusions, multiple c-sections and new baby's Down syndrome. But I don't know yet if the negatives outweigh the positives.
I know I'm going to love this new baby boy. I know we'll continue to have love, help, and encouragement poured out on us by our friends and family. I don't know how hard or easy his first days, weeks, and months will be. I don't know if I'll be sad about his developmental delays or burdened by the challenges we'll face.
I know this new baby is part of God's perfect plan for me, our family, our church, and His world. I don't know if I would have said "yes" to this particular blessing if God had asked me first. I don't know if I knew ahead of time we'd get a baby with Down syndrome I would have gone ahead and gotten pregnant again :-) But I haven't spent a lot of time dwelling on this because God doesn't often ask us first and He knows the future better than I do anyway.
I know that human life begins at conception. From that moment on, those quickly dividing cells contain an eternal soul, made in God's image, knit together -- every molecule, chromosome, cell, organ -- for His glory either as a vessel of His grace or an object of His wrath. I know that in the eyes of God abortion is murder - even if that newly conceived life is defective, diseased, unplanned or the result of another sin. I also know that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24 This includes me. I don't know how some Down syndrome "advocates" can be so passionate about the rights of children and adults with DS, but not recognize their right to life. In the reading I've been doing I find it near universal that parents affirm their lives are blessed, joyful and better after the arrival of a child with Down syndrome, however, very few, unless they have religious convictions already, are willing to question the choice of 90% of parents to terminate after receiving a DS diagnosis.
I know that the gift of children is not something to be taken for granted. I know many friends who struggle with infertility, have lost unborn babies, or are single and desire nothing more than to be a wife and mother. I know I've felt twinges of jealousy at seeing photos of newborn "normal" babies since finding out my new baby will be different. I don't know how that envy would be multiplied for those who've been denied the blessing of children for years, had to wait, fight, hope, or fly around the world for an adopted baby, or suffered the loss of a child.
I know I'm looking forward to the birth of this baby. I'm looking forward to seeing what he looks like and finding out how skilled he is at nursing. I'm looking forward to showing him off to the other kids, our friends and family, and especially those acquaintances who might not have considered the blessing and joy of a baby with Down syndrome.