Saturday, August 15, 2015

Womanly Dominion Revisited

I first read this book back in 2009 and loved it. I took it up again last year when I downloaded it to my Kindle and read bits and pieces while sitting at kids sports or Dr. waiting rooms. It's not a modern day classic or anything. Many of the author's examples and stories are dated or bazaar (i.e. an extended excerpt from "It's a Wonderful Life," or quoting from Dr. Laura - I {heart} Dr. Laura, btw). Maybe that's one reason I like the book so much. Pastor Chanski and his wife remind me of mentors I've had, people who's example I want to follow; and I'm sure we'd have been friends if Providence had allowed us to attended his church.

Womanly Dominion - More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit is full of encouragement and guidance for women who are seeking to fulfill their God-given calling to be wives and mothers, a counter-cultural calling in our world today. Yes, it's written by a man. Yes, he uses sports analogies. Those things don't bother me. Author Mark Chanski's wisdom, admonitions, and examples resonate with me.

Here's one passage I love. In a chapter discussing the apostle Paul's references to Priscilla and Aquila where Priscilla is consistently listed ahead of her husband, Pastor Chanski agrees with Spurgeon that this is likely "because she was first in energy of character and attainments in grace." He then recounts his experience with his own parents.

His father was a "mighty man of God" and "was the rock, but Mom was the tutor. Mom was the reader, the book buyer, the Bible study attender, the sermon tape listener, the magazine article sender, the late night counselor, the doctrinal debater, the verbally agile persuader, the ladies' book study leader, the telephone advisor, the Priscilla. For every word Dad spoke, Mom spoke five." (p. 95)

I see a lot of myself in that quote and a lot of my mom too. Mom loved to be involved in Bible studies and was ALWAYS reading. And she couldn't help but share things she read with people she thought would appreciate them. She did Facebook the old-fashioned way, with telephones and stamps and clips from magazine articles.

Anyway, back to Priscilla. God's design for authority and submission within Biblical marriage is beautiful and right but it never means the woman is to be unknowledgeable, unopinionated, and confined to the kitchen (although there's nothing wrong with proficiency in domestic arts!). When I first became friends with my dear husband I'm glad he was not intimidated by my passionate defense of reformed doctrine or extensive theological reading. He was, at the time, a newer Christian and I remember one of our first heated debates was over the definition of limited atonement. Our friendship would have ended on the spot if I hadn't been able to convince him of his error. (j/k - I still don't think he's admitted to being wrong, but I've forgiven him) ;-)

Chanski also highlights the example of Abigail whose husband was about to make a disastrous error and took things into her own hands to defend her household. A woman of dominion does not sit idly by while her husband behaves negligently or sinfully. The author says of his own wife:
"I desperately need this Abigail in my life! She is not always right. But usually she is. Blessed be the Lord who sent her to me; and blessed be her and her discernment in family matters, church matters, financial matters, relational matters, educational matters and all manner of matters."
All husbands should have such confidence and pride in their wife. I do my best to conform my actions, thoughts and decisions to what I think my husband would like, but he doesn't want me waiting around to be told what to do every day. He wants me to use my best judgement to act, plan and execute my work, and to tell him (sweetly) when I think he's messing up.

So I conclude with an encouragement to my fellow women readers: follow the example of Priscilla and Abigail in your God-given roles and callings. And an encouragement to any single men out there: these are the qualities to pursue in a wife. Do not be intimidated by a strong woman, a smart woman, a Godly woman. This is the woman who will be raising your children and doing you "good not evil all of the days of her life...Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."  (Prov. 31:12, 30, & 31)

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