I've Never Read "The 5 Love Languages"

Since tomorrow is some Hallmark holiday of human creation I've heard a couple mentions of the contemporary classic "The 5 Love Languages."  The author encourages married couples to discover their "love language" and that of their spouse.  Your love language is that which makes you feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, service, and physical affection.  If you know your spouse's love language you'll better be able to show them love, etc.

Now I'm sure this book has been helpful to many and some of the themes are good, I assume, like thinking of your spouse and what they like, appreciate, desire, etc.  However, I think Christian marriages would benefit from less focus on their love languages and more focus on scripture.  Husbands and wives should know and do what the Bible commands and delight in eachother's faithfulness.

• When your husband gets up every morning and works in his vocation to the glory of God, this should be your love language.

• When your wife gets up at o'dark-thirty to feed the baby again, this should be your love language.

• When your husband makes time to study the Word, leads the family in worship and serves in your local church, this should be your love language.

• When your wife keeps the home, offers hospitality and prepares meals for your family, this should be your love language.

• And, wives, I'd wager a bet that your husbands primary love language can be found in 1Cor 7:3-5.  Do you really need to look it up?

So I'm all for communicating with your spouse and telling eachother your preferences i.e. "I'd rather spend a few hours with you over dinner out instead of those new earrings" or vice versa.  What I want to combat is what I see as worldly expectations that have a tendency to creep into our marriages.  If you have a faithful Christian husband, ladies, please don't demand he make a big fuss about Valentines Day, Mother's Day, your birthday, etc just because this is what the world tells us is important!  From the weekly add in the mail for your favorite grocery store with the displays of balloons, flowers and sweets to commercials, tv, even Christian book stores and ministries we're bombarded with the message that these things matter.  Sure, you have freedom to celebrate any special day you like,  But if it matters to you, figure out why.

Your love language is not an unchangeable part of your personality.  As we study God's Word and grow in sanctification our desires, affections and love languages will be conformed to the image of Christ.

Search the Bible.  What does God tell us matters?  He tells us a lot!  Let's focus on that.