Thursday, December 8, 2011

When NOT to listen to your kids

I recently came across a piece of parenting advice.  I had a negative reaction right away and I thought about a little it to try to figure out why.  Here it is:

You are a good listener if, while your child is talking, you are sincerely trying to understand what he is saying-you are not preparing your rebuttal. You can learn a lot about what your kids think about life. Start listening when they're young because you're definitely going to want to know what they're thinking when they're teenagers!

There may be some truth here.  Listening to your kids is good when they're asking a sincere question or talking about something they're thinking about, etc.  However, you're not required to always listen to your kids.  They don't have a right to always be heard.  They may not demand your attention to their every verbal expression.  You don't have to listen to their complaints, objections, wines and angry responses to your decisions or the thwarting of their wills.

As Christians, our responsibility is to instruct our children, discipline them, pray for them and love them.  It can be loving to listen to "what your kids think about life," but it's even more important that we love them by teaching them how to think about life.  By God's grace, when they're teenagers, they'll have learned to trust and respect your Biblical wisdom and authority.