When NOT to listen to your kids

I recently came across a piece of parenting advice.  I had a negative reaction right away and I thought about a little it to try to figure out why.  Here it is:

You are a good listener if, while your child is talking, you are sincerely trying to understand what he is saying-you are not preparing your rebuttal. You can learn a lot about what your kids think about life. Start listening when they're young because you're definitely going to want to know what they're thinking when they're teenagers!

There may be some truth here.  Listening to your kids is good when they're asking a sincere question or talking about something they're thinking about, etc.  However, you're not required to always listen to your kids.  They don't have a right to always be heard.  They may not demand your attention to their every verbal expression.  You don't have to listen to their complaints, objections, wines and angry responses to your decisions or the thwarting of their wills.

As Christians, our responsibility is to instruct our children, discipline them, pray for them and love them.  It can be loving to listen to "what your kids think about life," but it's even more important that we love them by teaching them how to think about life.  By God's grace, when they're teenagers, they'll have learned to trust and respect your Biblical wisdom and authority.
 

Let us not grow weary of doing good.

Just processing some thoughts from our ladies Bible study this morning.  We looked at Colossians 2 where Paul admonishes the Colossians to resist legalism, human traditions and regulations.  Our justification is accomplished by Christ on the cross.  We contribute nothing to that work.  It is all of Him.  "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this not of your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." (Eph. 2:8,9)

But you have to finish reading the book.  Colossians 3 and 4 is a long list of do's and don'ts!

seek the things that are above
set your mind on things above, not on earthly things
put to death what is earthly:  sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, covetousness which is idolatry!
put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk, lies
put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience
bear with one another
forgive eachother
love
let the word of Christ dwell in you richly
teach
admonish
sing
be thankful
submit to your husband
love your wife
obey your parents
don't provoke your children
obey your masters
work heartily
treat slaves justly
be steadfast in prayer
conduct yourselves wisely
make the best use of the time
let your speech be gracious, seasoned with salt.

Are you tired yet?

So, hopefully I'm not doing a spoiler on Laurie's next Bible study lesson (sorry Laurie!), but there are TONS of good things for us to be about DOING!  They don't earn us favor with God but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do them!  This doesn't mean they are not of value.  Let's not forget the gospel of God's grace, but lets also spur one another on to love and good deeds (Heb 10:24).  And let's encourage one another in the fruit we see and rejoice in the faithfulness God is working in us.

The cost of speaking the truth

I think it's really important to be aware of a discussion going on about a pastor who's coming under fire for calling Mormonism a cult.  You can get a sense of the discussion here.  I was amused by this interview over the weekend.  What's not amusing is that it seems in today's culture that a pastor saying that Mormonism is a cult is considered bigoted.  This is frightening to me on a number of levels, mostly because, you know, that whole "religious freedom" thing.  Also this:

CHAPTER XXX.

Of Church Censures.

I. The Lord Jesus, as king and head of his Church, hath therein appointed a government in the hand of Church officers, distinct from the civil magistrate.
II. To these officers the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven are committed, by virtue whereof they have power respectively to retain and remit sins, to shut that kingdom against the impenitent, both by the word and censures; and to open it unto penitent sinners, by the ministry of the gospel, and by absolution from censures, as occasion shall require.
III. Church censures are necessary for the reclaiming and gaining of offending brethren; for deterring of others from like offenses; for purging out of that leaven which might infect the whole lump; for vindicating the honor of Christ, and the holy profession of the gospel; and for preventing the wrath of God, which might justly fall upon the Church, if they should suffer his covenant, and the seals thereof, to be profaned by notorious and obstinate offenders.

Lest you think me overreacting, this morning's local news-talk station reported on this story and very authoritatively shook their heads in verbal disgust:  "You would think we were past that."


Really?  We're "past that"?  A pastor is no longer allowed to say publicly who is and is not a Christian?


So, do I just listen to too much talk radio, or is this a big deal?  I think so.

How different denominations see each other

Spent a little time researching churches for my folks to try in CO...

Saw this today and thought it was very funny and well done.  Had to share:

(HT: Vitamin Z)

Choosing a church is serious business, but I think it's healthy to find some humor in all this too.  Maybe that's the "reformed" in me :-)

(click image to view larger)

Hair cut time for Paul

Points to keep in mind: 

1. I really don't know what I'm doing.
2. We don't pay to get our girls' hair cut, we're certainly not going to pay for Paul's.
3. Paul's hair is stick-straight and thick.  When it was long it was beautiful.  A little too beautiful.  When it starts to grow out it sticks straight up.
4. Products are not allowed.

So this is what we're left with.

I think this cut will serve him well under a baseball cap.

Old News

A little behind on the updates here.  Sorry y'all.  So the baby started walking.  She took her time getting going, but then in just the last couple weeks she's totally got it down.  Even advanced toddler skills like walking while drinking from her sippy cup are a piece of cake now!  Here's how she started:

Then she took off all on her own.  Just had to get more confidence in her balance:

Mid summer modesty check

OK, so I know I have a reputation for being the modesty police.  I wear that badge proudly.  Believe it or not, I actually consider myself to be a moderate on the modesty issue.  And not just in comparison to these ladies:

Yet, truth be told, I think they've got a lot going for them.  They won't be mistaken for prostitutes.  They'll be treated like ladies.  They'll never have to worry if people can tell what kind of undies they're wearing.



But, ladies, I think we need to ask some hard questions when shopping and dressing:

• Do I care more about modesty or about being cute, fashionable, attractive?
• Would I wear this dress to church?  If not, why is it o.k. to wear it to [insert festive occasion]?
• Am I inspiring younger women to choose modesty or worldly standards of beauty?
• Am I dressing to adorn the gospel or to adorn my physical features/figure?
• If I am trying to adorn the gospel by my choice of clothes, can anyone tell?  Is there any difference between your closet and your worldly neighbor's?

Thus ends this tirade from the modesty police.  Don't make me have to write you a citation.

Cate-what? Horton on Recovering Catechesis

Great article here by Michael Horton on the need for catechesis: teaching Biblical doctrine in our homes and churches.  Read the whole thing (available online until Aug. 7), or at least read these quotes:

Most professing evangelicals in North America are biblically and doctrinally illiterate. It's therefore not surprising that there is virtually no difference between the "churched" and the "unchurched" in terms of values and lifestyle. We're learning the hard way that "deeds" cannot live long without "creeds"—that you can't have the fruit without the tree. And you can't have a healthy and fruitful tree unless it's "planted by streams of water." As long as we are living in this present age, the church will always be "called out" to belong to Christ in the power of the Spirit who works through his Word. The "way of the righteous" will always be a stream in the desert—not out of this world, but a different environment where strange trees grow. Disciples experience many things and do many things, but first and foremost they are recipients of many things—especially, of the gospel story from Genesis to Revelation that creates and sustains our faith, fuels our hope, and produces the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, and peace. "He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither."

The importance of Bible teaching, preaching, reading, meditation cannot be underestimated.

At first glance, many churches seem fine. They advertise themselves as "Christ centered" and "Bible believing." There is a lot of activity for all ages, always something new for the weekly announcements. Yet upon closer inspection, they are frequently taken up with other concerns, more urgent operations to make themselves relevant, meaningful, and important in the community. The ministry of Word and Sacrament instituted by Christ in Scripture is subordinate to myriad ministries and programs created by our own ingenuity. There's always something to do for Jesus, but what's often lost is the work that Jesus did—and still does—for us.

Pastors, you can have thousands of people pass through your doors. You can sell millions of books promising how to have meaning, happiness, better relationships, and control over your finances, your family, and your personal well-being. You can have the town's most coveted campus, organ, choir, praise band, or youth ministry. You can have lots of people engaged in spiritual disciplines or participating in evangelistic and social outreach in the community. Yet if the proclamation of the gospel, the administration of the sacraments, teaching, and corporate discipline are not the "core values" of a church's mission statement, then it isn't a church. The Great Commission, not our own strategic plans, determines what constitutes a true church. Otherwise, it's just another self-help group, spiritual mall, entertainment center, or community service agency.

Summer 2011

Sorry for being so lazy with my blog.  It's just way down on my "to do" list.  Here's some photos of what we've been up to...


First we'll go back to June.  We had a nice visit with Grandma Helen and Phillip got a suit :-)

 Phillip and Sarah had a piano recital. Here's some clips of their performances:

Phillip's is really long and I couldn't figure out how to edit it down, so don't feel compelled to watch the whole thing!!!  His playing has really improved over the last year or two!

We went on a hike with some friends.  All of us.  Nine miles.  I carried Mary.

Russell carried Paul.

Ruth.  Best 5-yr-old hiker in the world.

Sarah at the waterfall.

Kids have been spending lots of time playing together and we've been trying to get up to the pool as much as possible.

Grandpa and Grandma Hoekstra came for a visit.

You notice Grandpa doesn't have his glasses on.  Mary loves to take a swing for glasses.

We took in a hot River Cats game

Grandma stayed home with the baby in the a/c.

Well, that's all for now :-)

The Squirmy Season

We had a fab trip to visit my parents' new place south of Denver.  We were able to purchase some relatively inexpensive plane flights there and back and traveling with the kids was really a piece of cake. The only minor problem was baby Mary who is just at a stage where she likes to squirm.  She's 12 months old and hasn't quite learned that it's not o.k. to scream when she doesn't get what she wants. What she wanted, as far as I could tell, was to pull the hair of the passenger in front of us and crawl up and down the aisle of the 737.

Today I noticed this blog post from Noel Piper asking how churches can help those of us in the baby days participate in the worship service.  It reminded me of my efforts to keep Mary content on the plane.  We have the same struggle during church.  When my babies are little I try to time their naps so that they sleep through the sermon.  This still works for Mary on Sunday mornings, but it doesn't work at other times (evening services) or plane flights.

(photo credit: Sarah)

The comments section of Noel Piper's blog post has tons of helpful suggestions for small children in church.  If you're looking for some ideas that might be a good place to start.  Our church also provides a booklet written by John and Noel Piper with lots of great ideas on the subject.  You can find it online here. 

We're committed to keeping our kids in our church worship service with us.  We want them to see the ministry of the Word as the most important thing we do each week - all of us.

Who's on 1st?

Ready to play ball!

Ruth and Paul loved watching big sis.

Ready position.

The excitement was too much for Mary.

Cupcakes!

Phillip is quite the baker.  Thanks Grandma Helen!  I have a feeling we'll need a new one when he goes off to college.  (But he can't have my KitchenAid!)

Phillip got a hair cut. Yes!

Here's some long overdue photos of Phillip - the man, the legend :-)

Before

After

 Can you tell his smile is slightly smaller in the "after" shot?

You can stop now

No more growing up now, Mary, please.